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May 18, 2010

growing up

DSC_0383 lexi and grace, taken by tashi

sunday was baccalaureate (a non-denoinational religious graduation ceremony, for those who wish to participate). i love that they do this here in the midwest. this year it was in the sts. peter & paul catholic church here in nauvoo. lexi, my lovely graduate, and her lovely friend amber were asked to sing "the prayer". they looked and sang like angels. and the amazing accoustics in the church made it even more glorious. i cried (not that it takes much to make me cry), and i wish i had it on video. lexi sang the part sung by celine dion in the video below, and amber sang josh groban's part (just sang it higher). i'm including the video, in case you aren't familiar with the song, but it honestly doesn't compare to lexi and amber's version. lexi has a very sweet, clear, pure, innocence to her voice that celine dion doesn't.

it was a full day. lexi went to early church because baccalaureate conflicted with our church meetings. we went to the first half of sacrament meeting (where noah waxed wise - see previous post), then baccalaureate. afterwards, i ran back to relief society, and lexi suprsied me by joining me a few moments later (she had already sat through 3 hours of church,  rehearsals, and then baccalaureate. and then she and tashi stayed at church for a sunday evening discussion with susan easton black. they zipped home for a bite to eat, and then back to seminary graduation.

lex gave the opening prayer at seminary graduation, and both she and tashi recieived highest honors and "lettered" in seminary - this involves 90% attendance (at 6 a.m.), 200 days minimum of daily scripture reading, memorizing all the scripture mastery scriptures, and memorizing more like the first presidency and quorum of the twelve in order.

it hit me as we sat there, what amazing girls i have, and how incredibly grateful i am. we don't get up in the  morning until after they have left for seminary (so grateful they can drive). they do this all by themselves. and i give them very little credit for it. they amaze me.

next sunday lexi will graduate. and next year at this time we will do it all again with tashi. so many thoughts and emotions (mainly denial), but sotly too busy to stop and think or feel them...... i somehow missed the memo about how incredibly busy you life is with a graduation senior.

11 years ago, when lex and tash were 7 and 6, i was going through a rough patch. i found myself a very young stay at home mom, with both kids in school all day in japan. and a hoped for pregnancy hadn't happened. i missed my girls everyday, although i enjoyed my alone time (and got so much done!) everyone told me how lucky i was and to enjoy my time. and it was exciting to get to do all the things i hadn't been able to do since becoming a mother: to work out for an hour everyday, to take the train and meet brock near his work for lunch, to study japanese in depth, to go to the temple at least twice a month, etc, etc,. but i discovered that as wonderful as those things were, they weren't anywhere nearly as fulfilling as being a mother, and i was panicked about what would happen when my girls actually left home. the thought was too much to bear. i asked a friend who has seven children, and whose oldest was a senior, and youngest were twins that were tashi's age at the time, how it felt for her to be losing her oldest. she smiled and said that it was difficult, but that teenageers had a way of preparing you for their departure.

i do understand her feelings now. i can see that lexi is ready to go, and i am excited to see her spread her wings and fly. but i'm sure that sorrow will hit me when she is gone. i'm so grateful for the younger children that finally joined our family. because i would be falling apart right now, if they weren't here with us.... if tashi would leave next year, and that would be it. of course i would be in better shape (more time to exercise and eat right), i would be more sane, i would be more accomplished, more relaxed, and have a MUCH cleaner house. but i wouldn't take any  of those things if i had to give up my children to get them.

i do love being a mother.

Posted at 11:50 AM in family, motherhood, music, school, teenagers |

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Comments

mary

What a wonderful post. Your girls are great! They are such a good example to those around them, including me. I so agree with you that I would much rather have my kids bagging down the bathroom door and being constantly at my side then having "Me time." I love our "We time"

Posted by: mary | May 19, 2010 at 03:39 AM

Lexi

i cried mommy schmoopsie

Posted by: Lexi | May 19, 2010 at 11:21 AM

David Limburg

I can't get my cursor to turn into a 'hand' when I try to click on 'subscribe'.

I love reading your stuff, when I remember to. I'd like to subscribe, and be reminded.

DAD

Posted by: David Limburg | May 27, 2010 at 04:17 PM

Beth

You are very blessed, it's good to know there are wonderful people growing up in this crazy and somewhat misled world we live in. (you don't know me but i bought something from your ebay store and followed the links to your blog. I am going to nauvoo in a week and so I was very curious--too bad you don't have a "hard copy" store, or do you? that is what i wanted to find out.) Thanks--Beth

Posted by: Beth | June 01, 2010 at 04:15 PM

Mary Smith

Oh, oh, oh. You pegged it.

Posted by: Mary Smith | June 03, 2010 at 06:29 AM

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