dream come true

this week i fulfilled a dream. it was downsized from my original dream, but still a dream of 10 years or more.

as a child, my original dream was to dance ballet professionally. i was passionate about it. i was dedicated. i was willing to do anything to accomplish it...almost anything. i wasn't willing to move away from home, which is what it would have required. in the tiny town where i grew up (and live now), there were no professional ballet teachers. i took the ballet classes that were offered here, and spent summer in the "big city" with my grandparents where as a 10 year old, i took the bus downtown everyday by myself for ballet classes. i loved it. it made me happy. my dad built me a ballet bar at home, and i practiced what i learned in the big city as much as possible, but without a good teacher, i just couldn't progress. so by my 14th birthday i had surrendered my dream.

the downsized version of my dream has been to take ballet classes as an adult. but for 10 years i haven't been able to find adult ballet classes to join. adult ballet classes are big in japan, but they were all so serious, intense, far away and expensive.

now there is a good ballet teacher in our tiny town. and i have been wanting to join her classes, but she doesn't have an adult class. this week i took mia to her first cay of summer ballet camp, and sat down and watched as they stretched and warmed up. and i yearned to participate. so i did. there are three little girls, two young teenagers, and me. and tashi joined us on our second day. i LOVED it! yes, i felt fat and awkward, and a little bit silly. but it was worth it. so worth it. it felt so good to be moving my body that way again. i have been sore all week, and that has felt good too. mia, tashi, and i will continue our ballet camp, several times a week, for the next several weeks, and i am in heaven.

 the san fransisco ballet - i wish i looked like this. now that i have these photos posted, i realize how ridiculously far i am from looking like this, but a girl can keep dreaming.