Hearts Full of Joy

adoption......a miracle of an option

april 2005

brock and i both had impressions when we were just children that we would adopt children some day. we discovered that we had both felt this way when we were very newly married, and decided that it must mean that we would have fertility challenges, and adopt our children. we talked a lot about adoption and how we would do it, where we wanted to adopt from, etc.  and things turned out both differently, and the same as we predicted. lexi showed up 3 weeks after our second anniversary, and natasha arrived just 16 months and 6 days later, giving us 2 children in 3 years and 5 months. suddenly it seemed that we would be one of those couples that couldn't stop having babies. but, as mentioned in a previous post, at that point we realized that we needed to have a break from pregnancy while i regained my health. in fact, brock thought we should just adopt the rest of our children after experiencing my first two pregnancies, but i wanted to try at least one more pregnancy. so we waited for 4 1/2 years.....and then waited some more....and then waited some more....and went to doctor for help.....and waited some more.

at this point, we started thinking seriously about adoption again. we looked into japan, but were told by an agency that since we had two children, weren't japanese, and i was still in my 20's they couldn't see any reason to give us a baby. we looked into russia, and registered with an adoption agency to help us adopt there. but the new putin presidency had just gone in, and lots of changes were being made in adoption law in russia, which was making everything more difficult. so we switched to vietnam. we had a long debate between vietnam and china, but chose vietnam, because we already had two girls, and it was possible to get a boy from vietnam....not that we only wanted a boy, but it was nice to leave the option open. i could write so much about this time in our life, and i think that no matter how much i wrote, it would be insufficient to cover all the feelings, prayers, impressions, and deep emotions that we experienced. things didn't go well with our case worker as we were working on vietnam. maybe we were just too impatient, but after weeks of waiting daily for a promised fax that was never sent, i was emotionally frazzled. then brock saw an email being sent through our church leadership about a japanese doctor looking for a family to adopt a baby. we replied immediately, but the email was a week old, and the baby had been placed.

to make a very long story not quite so long, after many miracles involving convincing this wonderful doctor that giving a baby to an american family wouldn't be so strange, and being placed on his list ahead of many other waiting couples, we had mia in our arms a little more than four months later. i cannot express the pure joy and delight we experienced at this time....the almost perfect felicity....it was magical. it is a blessing to have to wait and yearn for something before you get it....because it is so much sweeter when it finally arrives. it was almost too good to be true. lexi was 9 and tashi was 8, and they were perfect big sisters.

again, there is so much i could write - the stresses and fears involved with closing the adoption, and even more, getting mia her U.S. immigrant visa. this could fill volumes. we planned to move back to the U.S. as soon as we had her visa, we had already spent almost 7 years in japan, much longer than expected. but in the month before she was granted a visa, we had a series of very interesting experiences that left us with the undeniable impression that there was another baby for us in japan. with much trepidation, we called our dear doctor back. how could we have the audacity to ask for another baby when we had the miracle of three beautiful daughters, and so many couples were still waiting for their first baby? but we summoned the gall to make the call, and told him that if there was ever a baby that no one else wanted because of disabilities, or any other reason, to please call us. he laughed at us, and put us back on his list, telling us that we would get a boy. i had expected mia to be a boy, because i had very strong impressions that i would have a japanese son. i was so surprised when we received a phone call about a three day old baby girl, and yet i knew at the time, it was right.

a year and a half after that phone call, we had noah. i often ask myself why i have been so blessed to be able to adopt, and not only to adopt, but to adopt AND to give birth. i wouldn't want to have missed out on either experience. so many people don't even experience on of these miracles, and much fewer experience both. i am immeasurably grateful.

september 2004

november 2004

february 2006

another thought......pregnancy after adoption. when mia was a baby, many friends and acquaintances told me that i would be getting pregnant soon. it seems that everyone knows someone who couldn't get pregnant, and so adopted, and then suddenly and unexpectedly found themselves pregnant. "it's because you relax about getting pregnant." everyone wisely told me. well, now i have suddenly and unexpectedly found myself pregnant, but i would like to share a few feelings about this phenomena..........

i have always felt, when hearing these types of pregnancy after adoption stories, even before i was old enough to get pregnant or adopt, that there is another reason that this happens (not just the relaxing about getting pregnant reason). i have always believed that it is because adoption was meant to be part of the life of the couple that couldn't conceive, that there was a child that could only come into their life through adoption. and if they were busily getting pregnant, they wouldn't be making room for that adopted child in their life. once that child, or in our case, children, have found their way into the family, then there is room for a pregnancy. of course, not everyone who adopts finds themselves pregnant after wards, but for those that do, this is my explanation.

a few more of my favorite things

antique fabrics from the 1800s

oh! i love them, and could post so many more pictures of them. the history buff in me loves to touch them and imagine the clothing that was made from them. this is a set that i sell in 3 inch squares on my auctions and website.

in 2005, i made a quilt for an art competition sponsored by the church in japan for joseph smith's 200th birthday. i didn't win, but i sure enjoyed myself.  it was made entirely from 1800s fabrics, except for the center embroidered block, and the binding which were new fabrics, and the backing which was a muslin feedsack, from about 1940. the tiny "postage stamp" blocks around the embroidered block were a set of antique blocks that i sewed together to form that border. working with those fabrics on that quilt was a dream come true for me - i loved every single minute of it! i titled it "nauvoo, the city of joseph". each block has a name that relates in some way to joseph's life like: joseph's necktie, nauvoo, missouri puzzle, illinois roads, vermont maple leaf, etc.

but, alas, 1800s fabrics are rare and expensive. soooooo...... reproduction fabrics are a great alternative. here are some favortie projects that i have made with 1800's "repro" fabrics. (another one of my favorite things are pillows.)

"antique baskets"

this is one of my all time favorite quilt projects, i love the way the fabrics work together. it is a small wall quilt, about 20x20. most of the fabric is repro, but there are antiques fabrics in the baskets - so fun!

"pemberly pillow"

this is made completely from repro fabrics. i love those 1800s prints - so much fine detail and beautiful color combos!

"1800s applique"

i used an antique pattern from the 1800s for the applique on this pillow, and classic fabrics (repros) that were used for the applique quilts of the mid 1800s.

These two pillows are on my couch, where i can enjoy them everyday. noah enjoys them too - they make great balls for sporting events, and are very comfortable for wiping noses on when tissues aren't handy.....that boy!

one more pillow photo, while i am on a roll. this one has no 1800s connection. i adapted it from a pattern from quilt designer peggy waltman - love her stuff!

"june cherries"

i tried hand stipple quilting for the first time on this pillow (in the center around the cherries), and loved the effect. one of the reasons that i love pillows, is that i can create a little quilt treasure to enjoy with a small amount of fabric and time investment. they are also a fun and easy way to change the decor of a room.

life with mia

.....mia one year ago - feb 2006

how can i describe life with mia?.....fun, intense, never boring, unexpected, unpredictable, energetic, loud, exuberant, entertaining, silly, humorous, exhausting, and emotional are a few words that come to mind. She is frighteningly smart, has a memory like a steel trap (unless it is something that you want her to remember), loves to perform, loves to make people laugh, loves to be the center of attention, strong willed, stubborn as all-get-out, sweet, soft, beautiful, and a miracle.

and I wonder how life must be for her living in japan with a caucasian family, going to japanese kindergarten with other japanese children, but those children speak japanese as their primary language, having two teenage sisters that are blonde, and who get to do everything she wishes that she could do but isn't "big" enough to do yet, and a baby sister on the way who will probably be blonde also, having the mom who never understands what is going on at school, and then there is noah.......noah is overwhelming for those of us who are 3x his height, but what of mia who is only a few centimeters taller than him? good thing she has so much of her own vivacity and strength. he came into her perfect little world where everyone was wrapped around her finger and she was always the center of attention, and turned everything upside down. mia is still on the path to recovery from that trauma.

today we all went to mia's "happyokai" (school program), which was on a saturday so that dads could attend. mia has been worried for nearly a month that we wouldn't figure out when the happyokai was, and so wouldn't show up. fortunately that didn't happen. what did predictably happen, is that we caused quite a scene by being ourselves - caucasian family with two teenagers, two japanese children, and a pregnancy.....nothing this strange has ever happened to her school before. the program was darling of course, as only japan can be. she and her classmates performed some musical numbers, accompanying their teacher who was playing the piano with tambourines, bells, castanets, etc. then they sang some songs, and finished up with an adorable play based on the book "doozo no isu" (the please chair). the children assisted in making the scenery and props and made their own costumes. they have been working on it for the last month. mia was a donkey, a very cute donkey (but a donkey?). i asked her who decided which animal each child would be, and she said that they each got to choose for themselves. i noticed that the most popular girls in class were also donkeys. can't imagine that happening in the u.s. it was very fun, and could have been funner if noah had been more cooperative, but he is getting easier by the week, so no complaints.

performing in the play

singing at the end of the play

mia is in the center back, enjoying herself. she was in her element at the happyokai....performing for an audience, what could be better?

ultrasound #3

.....24 weeks of pregnancy.

have i mentioned that one of the great benefits of having a baby in japan is that you get an ultrasound with every checkup? i definitely like this system. today was my third doctor's visit, and so my third ultrasound. baby was noticeably bigger this time, and the doctor even commented several times  on how wiggly and active she was. so this wiggly, always moving baby isn't just my imagination. oh, did i say "she"? yes, doctor says that "she" is definitely a girl. he also said that she was average size, and everything looked normal. we didn't even have to beg or threaten to get him to tell us the gender this time. he had decided we were ready to know. yesterday i took mia on "one-on-one" time. we went to my favorite fabric shop "milky way" and then got treats at "el torito", where i tried something very interesting called fresh fruit guacamole, which was just like it sounds.....an avocado mashed while i watched, and then mixed with assorted fresh fruit. while at milky way, i succumbed to purchasing the most precious fabric for a baby girl quilt and went ahead the threw it all in the washing machine this morning. so it works out well that this is a girl. we were very set on a boy, but are very excited to hear it's a girl. either one would have been a delight. mia is still saying she wants a boy. why? someone to entertain noah and keep him out of her stuff.

oh, harbinger of spring

our little "ume" (plum) bonsai tree that we rescued/adopted/stole from the mulder's house when they moved back to the U.S., is in bloom. It is so lovely and refreshing how the ume bloom as early as January here, to give us hope for spring to come. we will miss that when we leave japan and return to utah winters. they look so much like sakura, but not as delicate, and range in color from white to a deep, dark  pink.

one more close look.......

little mittens

i love these little mittens of noah's, mostly, i'm sure, because i love the little hands that go inside. wish i could say i knit them myself. lexi could if she wanted....but she's like me, too many fun quilty projects, photos to take, things to post, etc. lexi did crochet a string to hold them together, but he promptly pulled them off the string, and soon afterwards, lexi vacuumed up the string. she said she would rather crochet another string than retrieve it from the vacuum.....neither scenario has happened, yet.

i got up from my nap with noah - try to do that every day with this pregnancy - to discover that natasha had made lemon poppyseed bread for family home evening dessert. this girl is becoming a gourmet. she even made her own sourdough starter and sourdough bread last week. i may never have to cook again.....great news for me, especially now, because i don't like food when i'm pregnant. I know, this isn't how it's supposed to be. but when i'm done with 4 1/2 motnhs of endless throwing up, and settle down for 4 more months of occasional throwing up, food is just very unappealing .......until the baby comes and i need to make milk - then the appetite starts. i'm doing my best to be good and eat, but it's just no fun.

the 10 months of pregnancy?

in japan, women are actually pregnant for 10 months. this is a true, verifiable fact. it really is. some japanese women have heard that american women are different, and have asked me, "why are american women only pregnant for 9 months?". I, of course, give the only possible explanation, which is that "american babies' brains don't need to develop for as long because they will not be using kanji (chinese characters) to read and write." but the real reason is that, in japan pregnancy is reckoned by lunar months (4 weeks/28 days) and in america, it is reckoned by solar months (30 to 31 days). so the 40 weeks of pregnancy works out to 10 lunar months, and 9 solar months. but in reality, neither is completely accurate, as a pregnancy isn't actually 40 weeks, it's 38, if counting from conception. is this confusing enough? seeing that i am in japan, will i be pregnant for 10 months this time? tomorrow i will be 24 weeks, which is 5 months and 1 week by the solar calendar, but 6 months by the lunar calendar. doesn't 6 months sound better? i think so too.

Happy Valentines

today i pulled out the valentines pillow and quilt that i finally made last year, after many good intentions. but they weren't completed last year in time to enjoy them BEFORE valentines. so i'm enjoying them this year. for the pillow i did redwork embroidery, and used a vintage pattern that i sell on my auctions. i also used an antique pattern for the quilting. for the quilt, i was inspired by the funnest antique reproduction fabric that i found last january at the tokyo international quilt show, printed with antique, probably 1900-1920 era, valentines - so sweet and adorable. i pulled out all my favorite red fabrics and made a "drunkard's path" quilt, something I had wanted to try for a long time.

Setsubun

....mia's oni mask, made at school.

today is "setsubun", the traditional end of winter in japan. interesting that it comes the day after groundhog day (happy birthday Gina, our favorite groundhog!). on setsubun, people throw dried beans in their homes to scare away "oni" (evil spirits or demons). children also make and wear "oni" masks, and eat candy coated dried beans.

here are 3 year old mia and 9 1/2 month old noah on setsubun 2 years ago. we made the masks at an activity day for younger children at the "yochien" (kindergarten) that mia now attends.

credit where credit is due

i would like to feel that i have created this blog myself, but it should be stated that without the help of alexa, it wouldn't exist. i would still be struggling to figure out how to post my sakura branch photo, how to add links to other sites, how to upload my photos in general, etc. thank you lexi for being patient with your mommy, and your willingness to share your time and amazing computer skills!