gigi, our sweet little black kitty, had her kittens on the 17th, which was noah's 7th birthday - we coulnd't have planned it better (there was no actual planning on our part)!
she is so proud of herself and her wiggly black babies with tummies that are full to bursting with milk. she patiently lets them nurse all day and night. i think they've doubled in size in 2 days. the first time i saw her get out of her box, when they were about 24 hours old, she had a look i knew well. it said, "i've finally got them all asleep, and i need to use this time well, but i don't know what to do."
we've been concerned about finding homes for them, but we have interest, and it looks like it will work out well.
it is wonderous to observe & ponder god's creations.
the morning of february 4th was cold, very cold, about 12 degrees F, cold enough to postpone the re-enactment of the nauvoo exodus from 8:00 (when we showed up) to 9:30 in hopes that it would be a little warmer.
a little warmer......
that is a great idea....if only the early saints could have postponed their exodus..... it didn't feel right to me to be able to postpone ours.
in spite of our late start, it was a day we will remember. we began by enjoying hot chocolate and tasty treats the the family living center, then headed out into the elements. we had three small children (7 years, 4 years, & 20 months) bundled with layers and layers of long johns, jackets, and coats. and we were all cold. very cold. when it was all over, 1 1/2 hours later, we got into our car, equipped with heater, drove home in warmth, relaxed in our (warm) home, ate yummy (warm) food, and i even crawled into my cozy (warm) bed and fell asleep for 3 hours! (whew! that 1 1/2 hours in a cold wagon was exhausting!)
in contrast, our forebears left with children bundled against the cold, but no high tech coat or glove insulation, no cars with heaters, no yummy food or easy way of heating it up, no warm cozy beds, no way to escape the elements, no hope for warmth at all until spring/summer, and no hope for warm homes and cozy beds until they reached their destination and built them. something like 17 women gave birth on the banks of the mississippi that first night. the temperatures dropped to 30 below within the week. incredible. unbelievable. i can't even begin to imagine giving birth in that kind of cold, and trying to keep the baby warm. it makes me want to cry. and i did shed tears as i tried to keep gracie (who didn't want to keep her mittens on, but then cried & cried because her hands were so cold) warm, and i tried to imagine knowing that we wouldn't be warm again for months. it is not a wonder that so many died. it is rather a miracle that so many lived. i asked mia & noah (when they were complaining about the cold) how they would feel if they couldn't go home and get warm. mia said with her typical bluntness, "i would want to die." and i agreed. honestly. at the time, we were very near the memorial buit for those who died crossing the plains. it was a very poignant experience, and reminds me of this poignant experience, which i relived on a jog yesterday morning.
the temple looking down on horses & wagons waiting to depart
wagons ready to roll
re-enactors passing the seveties hall on parley street (the trail of tears/hope)
oxen watching the wagons pass, near the seventies hall
at the frozen mississippi
hyrum (a friend), mia, and gracie waiting to begin. they are wearing cards (you can see hyrum's) that say "remember, oh remember" and have names and information representing people who left nauvoo on the first day of the exodus.
this is what the ground looked like where there wasn't pavement....corn husks frozen into the mud. bleak & unfriendly.
i am filled with happiness for my japanese friend naomi who welcomed this angel baby on october 14th.
naomi had her first two babies in her early 30s and was told by doctors that she would be risking her life by having any more. at 41, when her first two children were 8 & 10, she had baby kouki, born on christmas day. she was terrified that something would go wrong at his birth, but it didn't. and at 43, she just had baby asumi, whose name means 'love is pure".
she sent this photo of asumi to me to show the quilt she had made, using vintage fabrics that lexi, tashi, & i had given her - lots of fun feedsacks included. she was my best sewing/quilting friend in japan, and an inspiration to me in many ways. knowing naomi, she probably pieced this quilt by hand, and definitely hand quilted it.
this news makes me happy for naomi & her family for so many reasons and in so many ways. it warms my heart and gives me hope. hope for the church in japan. hope for women who are courageous enough to have babies, even against the odds. hope for new beginnings.
first off, i find it enjoyable, and recommend to all, to have a baby with a name that is also a word, and can be used in so many fun ways. my new niece, baby joy's, parents will discover this.
gracie truly is my "saving grace". her pregnancy came at a time that i had all but given up on it. and i didn't have the stamina for it. my health wasn't good - physically or emotionally, and i was really struggling to keep up with my four kids. really struggling. we had in international move planned, and baby was due right when we had planned it, and right after my parents were planning to be on an international service mission for 18 months - so this would be another time that i couldn't have my mom's help. i hadn't slept through the night for nearly 2 1/2 years because of noah's sleep troubles. and brock had just decided to strike out on his own and start his own business in japan - very brave because we may have lost the lease on our home, and our japanese visas, without an employer to back us up.
in spite of all this, i was grateful to be pregnant, after all, it was an answer to over 9 years of fervent prayer. and although i have severe sickness throughout pregnancy, and threaten pre-term labor, i found myself very blessed. i discovered that so many things that i thought were requirements for life, are actually very dispensable, as i rearranged my priorities and let many, many things go. i had spent 14 years regretting that i hadn't relaxed and enjoyed my previous pregnancies more instead of stressing myself out feeling guilty that i couldn't accomplish as much, or more, as i did when i wasn't pregnant. i was determined not to make that mistake again. and in fact, i didn't have the energy to make that mistake again. so i slowed down to a snail's pace and savored each moment.
i thought that baby noah had taught me to let go of things (sleep, schedules, timeliness, anything valuable & breakable, etc) but i learned the lesson on a much deeper level during gracie's pregnancy.
i learned how much my husband and children can step up to the bat when they need to, and how the things they don't take care of take care of themselves or fade away into oblivion.
i learned how much more i enjoyed my children (and they enjoyed me) when i slowed down and spent the day on the couch where they could climb on my lap or sit and talk with me whenever they felt like it.
i learned how much joy could be found in life by sitting still and savoring the moment. i learned to be at peace with imperfection, messes, and not having things the way i wanted or planned. and most importantly, i learned to hand everything over to the lord and trust him completely. i am so grateful for that.
brock did have to postpone his business plans, but his business worked out just fine, probably better. our international move worked out better than we could have hoped. and the pregnancy worked out perfectly, with a healthy baby born right on schedule. and my mom was there, because their mission was unexpectedly postponed. gracie even made the international move easier because i focused on keeping her safe during the pregnancy, instead of rushing around japan doing every last minute thing i was afraid i would regret not having done. i didn't over-analyze the move or create unrealistic expectations. i didn't have a tough adjustment back to
american life, because i took it slow and easy, and just enjoyed the miracle of my new baby.
as i made it through the first few weeks of the post partum period, i began to realize that some of my heath problems previous to the pregnancy were now gone, and i was 10 pounds lighter than before the pregnancy. and i found that after gracie arrived, my life was actually easier with 5 kids than it had been with 4. some of this is due to having a yard for noah, a simpler lifestyle, family living in the same state, brock working at home, but ALL of it is because of blessings from the lord. blessings that i know i don't deserve. blessings that are too great to count. blessings that bring me joy.
this is the miracle of a new baby, a new life, a new member of our family.
gracie-cakes, 3 1/2 days old
as mentioned in an earlier posting, japanese doctors only allow their ob patients to gain a maximum of 8 kg (about 18 pounds) during pregnancy, and can be very mean to the poor pregnant women about it. when i had gained about 15 pounds at 30 weeks, i informed my doctor and his nurses that "things are different in america", and i would definitely be gaining more than the magic 8 kg. but strangely enough, as the pregnancy progressed, the highest my weight gain reached was exactly 18 pounds, and towards the end, i lost down to 16 pounds. how weird is that? I wasn't trying to control my weight at all. i don't know how it happened. it must have been all those meadow gold twin pops i ate towards the end of pregnancy (so there, mom & brock! :) ) with my first two pregnancies, my weight gain was in the mid twenties, and i had difficulty taking it off. all i can figure is that japan rubbed off on me and left it's mark. now i have lost 25 pounds, so i am almost 10 pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight. this is a very happy thing, because my pre-pregnancy weight was too high, and i still need to lose more. but i am very grateful......thank you japan!
gracie, 2 1/2 days
the timing of gracie's birth seems quite poignant. when we left for the hospital at about 8:00 am, brock noticed an ambulance at our neighbor's across the street. when we arrived at the hospital, they were preparing for the arrival of that ambulance, but it never arrived, because our neighbor had passed away. he was elderly and had cancer, so it wasn't completely unexpected, but sooner than expected.
also, the date of may 26th seemed important and familiar to me, and i kept coming back to thinking about it. it hit me in the wee hours of the morning when she was a day and a half old. it is the day that my brother-in-law scott passed away from cancer eleven years ago. it was memorial day weekend that year, just like this year.
and finally, gracie was born the day before my parent's mission farewell (which isn't really a farewell anymore, but we don't know what else to call it). the day of their farewell was her due date, and we are grateful she didn't come on that day. the day before was close enough. i'm so grateful that my mom was able to be there to help me through the labor and delivery. and that she didn't feel pressure to be at the hospital instead of giving her talk in church or spending time with the many, many relatives that came to their house after wards. interestingly, my parents had also been assigned to speak in the sacrament meeting at the hospital that morning, and so i could have heard an abridged version of their mission talks, but i was too tired to get our of my hospital bed and go. we also had a family picture scheduled in the afternoon after church. our photographer said that she could add gracie and i in later, which sounded very nice. but after thinking about it, i decided it would be a nice memory to have gracie in the photo when she was actually less than a day old. so i quickly got ready, and showed up for the photo with 23 hour old gracie. she looks great in the photos, but i look like i felt, tired and puffy. with all the family at the house, brock had the idea of taking me & gracie to an inn in town. I was able to get better rest than at the hospital, where they are constantly coming in and waking you up for a test or vital signs, etc. and i will always Cherish the time i was able to spend there with just my gracie. that is where i completely fell in love with her, head over heels.
our family photo, may 27, 2007
my parents left for the mtc yesterday morning, monday the 4th. i was sad to see them go. i have really cherished the time we have been able to spend together for the last month and a half. especially after being in japan for so many years.
gracie, 8 days old, with my dad, just before my parents were set apart for their mission. june 3, 2007
and on sunday, the national guard unit from our community was shipped off to iraq, including my sister-in-law's father. that is a difficult beginning and ending for many families here.
so gracies' beginnings came at the time of several endings, which are beginnings also. my parents are beginning an new adventure in their lives, and death is a but a beginning of it's own. it also marked endings in her life, the ending of pregnancy, the ending of her previous existence. i am feeling a little emotional about all the beginnings and endings in our life right now.
gracie, 26 hours old
susanna grace, our little miracle, is here. she arrived at 6:14 pm on saturday, may 26, 2007.
she is so yummy and cozy, and absolutely perfect in every way. so sweet, and so much more fun than i even expected.
here is gracie's birth story...
I started early labor on sunday the 20th, and had continual contractions, 3 minutes apart throughout the week, with every sign of impending birth except my water breaking. hard contractions started Saturday morning at 3:00, and we went to the hospital at 8:00. i nearly made it natural, which was my plan, and would have except for a complication at the end. After 11 hours of HARD labor, I got stuck at a 9.5, with just a little "lip" left to dilate. 2 1/2 hours later, the little lip had just swollen terribly instead of moving out of the way, and they started talking c-section. After a lot of prayer, and my doctor consulting with another doctor, we all agreed to try an epidural and see if it relaxed my pelvis enough that the doctor could move the swelling out of the way. i was the last to agree with the epidural plan, because the on-call anesthesiologist was 45 minutes away, and i couldn't bear to think that would be no resolution until then. but that was the impression everyone else had in answer to prayer, and as things were getting worse by the minute, i agreed. the epidural didn't completely take the pain away, but enough to allow my doctor to start to move the swelling out of the way. with lots of perseverance on the part of my doctor (he was great!) and another hour and half of pushing, because of all the swelling, she arrived safely, and we are so grateful. i feel happy about the outcome, because i know i could have done it if it hadn't been for the complication. my mom, who also taught natural childbirth, got me through the end when brock was exhausted and didn't know what else to do. she actually had the same complication when she had my youngest sister at my age. but she didn't have anyone to help her through it, except for my dad who started vomiting and had to lay down (yes, he is a doctor). i was very blessed with great nurses and doctors and support. lexi and tashi were there for the birth, which was a real learning experience for them. I can't help but wonder how this would have played out if I had given birth in japan......????
little gracie is just perfectly perfect and in every way wonderful. brock has been heroic with helping out
and protecting me, and everything has gone really well. i am so grateful for and humbled by the blessing
of having her come. such a miracle.
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